GROWING UP INTERSEX
Updated: Feb 5, 2018
Tell me a bit about yourself?
I am an Intersex man aged 29, based in Lusaka, Zambia. I am an Intersex Activist and Human Rights Defender. Being Intersex has helped me understand the sexual diversity, it has also made me a strong person who learnt to stand on my own at a tender age despite all the hostility and Intersex phobia in Lusaka and Zambia at large.
Explain to me your childhood, school days and how that went?
Growing up, I was raised female but felt so different from the other girls, I never liked playing with girls and never liked girls’ toys. I never fitted in with the girls at Primary School and many are the times I was mocked and made fun of by calling me “Girl boy” or “Boy girl”. And during my secondary education my school mates thought I was a lesbian and so does society up to this day. I was so depressed growing up and I had no one to talk to about what was going on with me at school or even around the community I grew up in.
When you say you are Intersex man what do you mean?
I am an Intersex person, was born with sex characteristics which do not fit the typical definition of male or female, and because I have more dominant male sex characteristics and my gender identity is male, I identify as a man.
Tell me about the happiest moment and saddest moment in your life?
My happiest moment is being part of Transbantu Association Zambia, at TBZ I am free to be myself and express myself because I know with no element of doubt that I am in a safe space and attending the 4th International Intersex Forum in Amsterdam, the Netherlands made me realize that I was not alone and that there was an Intersex Activist movement around the world working tirelessly to ensure the visibility and rights of intersex are attained.
My saddest moment was learning about my birth, because that is when I realized how much pain and suffering my parents went through raising me up not forgetting the stigma and discrimination my family went through because of my existence.
Explain to me your experience of going through college and everyone assuring that you are a sexual minority?
It was not easy because I was considered female while I did not and never identified as one. All my life I considered myself male and was comfortable being around male friends. And my attraction towards females made it worse it resulted in being referred to as a lesbian and all sorts of depressing names.
Describe to me your plans for the future?
I want to marry and start my own family. Also continue advocating for the rights of my fellow Intersex persons in our country and by 2026, the Zambian Laws would have changed and be more inclusive of Intersex people and for them to be able to get their National Identity Documents without difficulties and have visibility in society and their rights upheld. We are all human and should be treated with respect and dignity because we deserve it.
What would be your message to an Intersex adolescent out there who is battling with the prejudices of society?
My message to Intersex adolescent out there is that, “there are not alone in this world and they should not think that their being Intersex is because of witchcraft, a punishment for what their parents did or a sin or that they are abnormal. They were created in the image of God and should embrace and understand who they are because it is the first step in experiencing a fulfilling life “They can realize their full potential”. In Mathew 9:15 Jesus acknowledged that they are people who are born different.
If all human kind was God’s creation and he created each one in his own image,
I believe he has a purpose why he created Intersex people.